I want to walk on stilts...naked
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
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