Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
