All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
