I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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