so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Actions speak louder than pants.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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