I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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