the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Here’s Why Hotel Photos On Travel Websites Are A Complete Hoax
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT