Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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