it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season