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I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
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