Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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