Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
