The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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