when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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