In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
