My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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