Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
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i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
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Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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