walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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