worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Randomize
