so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
sarcasm needs its own font
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
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He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
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Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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