Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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