Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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