he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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