Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Randomize
