Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
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