Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
