He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
