I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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