Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
