I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
