My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
