I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
