If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
