Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
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Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
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the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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