I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
