who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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