we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
