im drinking this country out of the recession.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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