If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
The power of my boobs compel you
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize