wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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