She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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