you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
