You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
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