does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
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I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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