That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Couch. On fire.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
