Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
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I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
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I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize