If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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