Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize