How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
