After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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