...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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