You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
