remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
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Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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