I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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