So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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