he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
