thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
