I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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