How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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