Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize