HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
