I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize