I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
This is my gift to your gina
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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