Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
