I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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