The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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